i am realli sorry , hayden . i am realli realli sorry . i was wrong to do tt . sorry tt ive hurt u , im realli sorry but please don be lyk tt . sorry fer everything on fridae . please . im nt angry , i just called to know if u realli do love me . okays tt was stupid , im sorry . and wad laopo sae or send is all nt true but i was nxt to her . sorry , realli sorry . when laopo tell u tt " someone damn shuaix was wooin me " u just sounded lyk ..... and at first i didnt thk of anything den and when laopo was asking u if u love seemun , i was listening with my ear piece . u sae yah and quite deadly . okays so the call ended . den laopo told me sth , seriously i don thk he love u , if he does he will lyk ask huh ?? who ?? sth lyk tt and so on . yeah , so i did believe cause realli it makes sense . den i was veri sad . i was lyk thinking why am i so stupid . actually when i accept the stead , i told myself tt i realli still do love you but i hav to treat it as an game first cuz i dunno wad u r thking rite . but as days pass , i realize im realli cld nt treat it as a game , i realli wanted this stead and realli hope it cld last forever cuz i realize i realli do love u and realli don mind being hurt and also trust that this is real . at tt moment i realli feel veri hurt , i feel lyk crying but i force myself to do my tuition hmewrk cause me and laopo went there fer revision but honestly i could nt concentrate . laopo told me to concentrate and don thk bout u . i tried but cant , my mind was nt there , i was thking of all those things . realli i wanted to cry and sadly i lay my head down and some tears started to drop but soon i sit up & force myself to do my tuition hmewrk again . so my heart was else where and i realli cant calculate and i ask laopo if i looks lyk im concentrating she sae no . den so yanhong came and den we talk and talk and go take photos , those makes me much more happier . thanks laopo fer makin me happy (: so at all , i was thking and thking bout tt but i still continue to stay strong and realli cant cry infront of my family rite and also i also blog & sms with papa , winston , laopo , darling xia & do hmewrk to avoid me frm thkin but i was scare as i know u r angry luhs . sorry i am realli sorry . so the nxt dae afternoon i told papa bout e thing and some tears drop down den i told darling xia in the phone and darling xia made me realizesomething else she told me tt laopo was rite but u r nt mature as in those in twenties de rite so mayb u r thkin wad can i sae lyk tt and then i felt even confused . i dunno wad to believe . den so i decided to sms u cuz i don wan to stay lyk tt .

okays so u reply :
nvm larhs .... you angry i also bo bianbut e hurt is inside le lor .

den i reply .

then u reply again :
just don sae ystd le la ... i good also wrong de mah so might at shall don talk le

den i reply .

the u reply again :
no is not i angry or nt de wen ti is i .... aiya ... u wont understand de larhs

den i reply .

den u reply :
aiya u just dunno tt its serious and u treat it lyk a game

den i reply .

den u reply :
you feel bad cause ur fren told u tt i love u rite but its true ......

den i reply .

den u reply :
but u noe wad is hurt , it is lyk a scar in the heart le ..... you wont understand de .... haix

den i reply . den u nv reply luhs .
so u thk i wad playing larhs . okays nvm . anw i realli am sorry and is e onli thing i can sae . even laopo always sae me when i feel hurt , u realli love hyme dao lyk tt mehs , wad so gd bout hayden tt makes u love him and i aslo reply i dunno . so nw i realli dunno how our future gonna b but i am realli sorry and i hope u can believe tt i realli love u and i promise to believe u too . okays , i am realli sorry .

dedicated to hayden
i am realli sorry


should i go my own way ? i am realli sorry fer everything , i know there aint any refreshing of love or wad but i realli hope tt we can forget bout tt . sorry , laogong .

seemun JASMINE
SINGLE
illegal thirteen
december 13 1994
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